Itās April Fools day, but the only trick youāll find here is the one I pulled on myself. š¬
In five days I race the Oceanside Ironman 70.3. Embarrassingly, it almost didnāt happen.
For months Iāve been training for Oceanside. Iāve put together an excellent block of training. Iāve eaten (mostly) well and have stayed healthy. My wife is joining me in California. My mother-in-law is coming to watch our kids. The hotel is booked. Everything is ready to go. Or so I thoughtā¦ Ā
On Friday, as I was finalizing our travel plans, I realized that I never actually signed up for the race. At first, I was convinced Ironman made the mistake. But after searching emails and credit card statements, it became clear I simply dropped the ball. š¤¦āāļø Iāve spent literally hundreds of hours preparing for this race but forgot to do the easiest and most important thing.
Of course, the event was sold out. Thankfully, there was another option. But I had to pay much more to register as a part of the āNirvana Experienceā (whatever that is).Ā I still canāt believe I forgot to sign up.
The lesson hit me hardāgetting the little things right means absolutely nothing if we fail to do the most important things.
With that, letās get down to business. Weāre less than two months from the launch of The Unconquerable Leader. Here are four books that played an influential role as I wrote it.Ā
Books, Articles, etc.
1) The Comfort Crisis: Embrace Discomfort to Reclaim Your Wild, Happy, Healthy Self by Michael EasterĀ
I first learned about this book while I was enraged by a 30 minute flight delay. I really needed to read The Comfort Crisis. Here I first learned about Misogi and it heavily influenced my decision to do a full Ironman (which I painfully write about in chapter 3 of my book).Ā
My two favorite quotes:
"Fewer problems donāt lead to more satisfaction, they lead us to lower our threshold for what is considered a problem."
"When a new comfort is introduced, we adapt to it and our old comforts become unacceptable. Todayās comfort is tomorrowās discomfort. This leads to a new level of whatās considered comfortable."
2) The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level by Gay HendricksĀ
This book introduces two key frameworks I regularly use with clients: Zone of Genius and The Upper Limit Problem.Ā Iāll briefly cover the latter.
Hendricks argues that thereās a self-imposed limit we place on our own level of happiness and success. The upper limit problem is often rooted in subconscious beliefs about our worthiness for success and happiness.Ā
According to Hendricks, āEach of us has an inner thermostat setting that determines how much love, success, and creativity we allow ourselves to enjoy. When we exceed our inner thermostat setting, we will often do something to sabotage ourselves, causing us to drop back into the old, familiar zone where we feel secure.ā
3) The Gap and the Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success by Dan Sullivan and Benjamin Hardy
Top performers are keen on identifying the gap between where they are and where they want to be. Herculean effort gets poured into closing that gap. But often the gap can feel so distant it becomes paralyzing. Our progress slows. We lose the motivation to move forward.Ā
Authors Sullivan and Hardy discuss this in The Gap and The Gain: āMost people, especially highly ambitious people, are unhappy because of how they measure their progress. We all have an āideal,ā a moving target that is always out of reach. When we measure ourselves against that ideal, weāre in the Gap. However, when we measure ourselves against our previous selves, weāre in the Gain.ā
When we measure our progress by our gains rather than the gaps that remain, we liberate ourselves from feelings of failure. Instead, we appreciate just how far weāve come, and that positivity fuels even more progress.
4) Enough: True Measures of Money, Business, and Life by John C. Bogle
The story is told of a lavish party thrown by a billionaire on Shelter Island. Kurt Vonnegut informs his pal, Joseph Heller, that their host, a hedge fund manager, had made more money in a single day than Heller had earned from his wildly popular novel Catch-22 over its entire history. Heller responds, āYes, but I have something he will never have...enough.ā
This anecdote was shared by the late John Bogle, founder of the Vanguard Mutual Fund Group, in this book, Enough. In a world where the pursuit of more seems to be the main focus, Bogle found his enough. Here's how he defined it.Ā
āItās about being a good husband, a good father, a good colleague, a good member of the community. Everything else pales by comparison. The accumulation of material goods is a waste ā you canāt take them with you, anyway... the essential message is, stop focusing on self and start thinking about service to others.ā
Observations
We All Need Community, Now More Than Ever
When I left my corporate job to launch my coaching business, I thought I was fully prepared... I was wrong.Ā
I was prepared for a short-term loss in income.Ā
I was prepared for the challenge of finding clients.Ā
I was prepared for figuring out health benefits.Ā
I was prepared in so many other ways.Ā
But...
I was unprepared for how much I'd miss having coworkers who were also my friends.Ā
I was unprepared for the sense of community I no longer had.
I was unprepared for how lonely the journey would feel.Ā
So I made some changes. I joined a pickleball league that my friend started. It's hyper-competitive, but we're all good sports (except the guy who got kicked out for throwing his paddle š¬). I love being able to set aside work and family responsibilities, and just hang with the dudes.Ā
We all need community. Sometimes it happens organically. Other times we need to proactively find it.Ā
Community is essential.Ā
Gratitudes
Iāve found power in regularly expressing gratitude so Iāll continue the habit. I'm grateful for my pickleball friends! Thatās all for this month. Ā
If you've read anything worth sharing I'd love to hear about it. And do let me know if there's anything I can do to help you.Ā Ā
Nathan
Learn about coaching | Read my blogĀ
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