How My Faith in Jesus Sustains Me (Easter Edition)
PROGRESSION: 2025, Volume 8
If you were on trial for being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict you?
I stumbled on this question a few years back. It made me uncomfortable. I struggled with it. I’ve since tried to discuss my faith more openly. Not throwing it in people’s faces, but not shying from it. I’d like to share an experience about how my faith in Jesus sustains me.
I’ll start with a passage from my journal. It’s an entry made on February 8, 2009. Before I do, let me share some context. I graduated from college in 2008. A few months later, I started full-time at Lehman Brothers. A month after that, Lehman imploded in what remains the largest bankruptcy in US history. I thought I lost my job. Several days later, Lehman’s US team was acquired by Barclays Capital. We were safe. But in January 2009, I was laid off from Barclays.
Long-time readers may be familiar with this story. I’ve written about it many times. Up to that point, everything in my young career had gone according to plan. Better than plan actually. Then my world came crashing down. I was unprepared to handle what felt like a devastating setback. Here’s the entry.
February 8, 2009
Today was a tough day for me. Probably the toughest since I’ve been laid off. I’ve been job searching for four weeks now and nothing seems to be working out. I am frustrated. Part of me is angry with Barclays for letting me go without giving me a fair chance to prove myself. Part of me feels foolish for getting into a career that I knew I wouldn’t excel at. I did feel spiritually prompted to go into investment banking, but I just feel abandoned that I was led this way only to fail. I feel like my hopes and dreams of a good future and career are completely falling apart.
I came home from church after Sacrament meeting (the first hour of what was three hours of church back then). I couldn’t handle being there with everyone coming up to me and asking about the job hunt. I know they mean well. I know they want to help. But no one understands what I’m going through. I couldn’t face them. I felt like I was just going to break down. I’ve been holding up well over the last few weeks, but I’m just falling apart.
I came home from church and just sat on the couch in silence. Numb. I didn’t know what to do. Finally I decided to turn on “The Testaments,” a movie depicting Jesus Christ’s ministry in the holy land and in the Americas. It was everything I needed. When I started watching, all I could think about was my own pain. I felt hopeless. I felt wronged. I felt like no one understood me. But as I watched Jesus teach, serve, and love, I felt something different. I felt hope. As I watched Jesus suffer and die for me, I felt his love.
True, no one else understands what I’m going through. But that doesn’t matter. Jesus does. I know at this moment that everything will be alright. I know at this moment that he loves me. He understands what I’m going through because he suffered everything I’m now suffering. I know many people suffer more than I do. My problems pale in comparison. But this is something very difficult for me. Everyone faces unique challenges that are hard for them but may be easier for others to carry.
Yes, today was tough. I’ve gotten over it and am ready to move forward. You don’t overcome problems by backing down when things get hard. You overcome them by picking yourself up and continuing to work and not letting down.
I recently watched a commercial with Dwyane Wade, an NBA basketball player known for his high-flying dunks and aggressive style. The commercial showed him driving to the hoop, dunking, and crashing down to the floor. At the end, he is shown flat on his stomach, looking up at the camera. The screen flashes, “Fall seven times. Stand up eight.” I am adopting that as my motto. No matter how hard or how often I come crashing down, I am going to stand back up and keep going.
Reflecting on 2009
I wrote that journal entry more than 16 years ago. As I look back on 2009, part of me is embarrassed by how difficult this experience was for me. But that’s not being fair to the 20-something-year-old me trying to find his way in the world. I was unprepared for many of life’s challenges. I was mentally and emotionally weak. I had so much to learn.
The reality is things got much harder before they got easier. The job search continued for months. I struggled with my identity. I faced rejection after rejection. Eventually I found another job. It was years before I felt like my career was back on track.
But that February day in 2009 gave me something I desperately needed—hope. The hope that things would get better despite no tangible evidence. The hope to keep going when things looked bleak. That hope came from something deeper than myself.
My strength in 2009 came from my faith in Jesus. My strength today comes from my faith in Jesus. I’ve had moments of darkness and sadness. There have been times I felt lonely and depressed. My faith has sustained me through these periods. I’ve found truth in the words, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Philippians 4:13).
Sustaining Faith
I wrote the majority of this post on Thursday. I was studying the Bible and read the passage: “In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). I felt compelled to share this experience. I felt a desire to share how my faith in Jesus sustains me.
But by Friday, I was having second thoughts. What might people think? Would this rub someone the wrong way? But that’s no way to operate. Whether you’re a believer or not, I hope you find something that sustains you through challenging times. We need more hope that the future will be brighter than the past. We need more people to take action based on that hope.
Going back to the initial question: If I were on trial for being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict me?
I can’t answer that. But I hope to pile up more evidence with each passing year.
I wish you and your loved ones a happy and hopeful Easter.
He is risen,
Nathan
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