PROGRESSION: The Power of Listening, Lincoln, and Why You Should Embrace Discomfort
November 2021
I know, I know. It’s been months since I last sent a newsletter. I’m tempted to provide an explanation but will spare you my excuses. The time will come when I can promise more consistency. Unfortunately, that time is not now. 😉
Books, articles, etc.
The Comfort Crisis: Embrace Discomfort to Reclaim Your Wild, Happy, Healthy Self by Michael Easter (Book)
Wow, I needed this book. Several months ago, I found myself in an airport, waiting to board a plane to Southern California. I had just trekked 15.6 miles (only a mild overstatement) to get to Terminal B of the Salt Lake Airport. When I arrived at the gate, I found that our flight was delayed because we didn’t have flight attendants. The airport was uncomfortably warm and the people on both sides of me were unnecessarily loud. I hadn’t seen my family for a week and knew, because of the delay, my kids would be asleep when I reached my destination. I thought, “this is literally the absolute worst.”
I pulled out my laptop hoping to make good use of the time and read an article from my inbox: How To Be Resilient: 4 Steps To Success When Life Gets Hard. It hit me like a ton of bricks. The article summarized a book, The Comfort Crisis, which skillfully taught how the constant push for comfort is ruining our lives.
And there I was, sitting in an air conditioned building with virtually all of my needs met except I would have to wait a bit longer for an airplane to take me 500 miles per hour at 30,000 feet to comfortably reach my destination. Yet at the moment I felt my delay was literally the worst thing in the world. I needed a reality check.
I’ll highlight a few passages from the book and leave it to you to decide whether you want to dig in more.
"Fewer problems don’t lead to more satisfaction, they lead us to lower our threshold for what is considered a problem."
"When a new comfort is introduced, we adapt to it and our old comforts become unacceptable. Today’s comfort is tomorrow’s discomfort. This leads to a new level of what’s considered comfortable."
I’ve since shared The Comfort Crisis with the Neighbor leadership team, family members, and anyone else looking for a good book.
Here are a few other books I enjoyed reading over the last few months
With Malice Toward None: A Biography of Abraham Lincoln by Stephen Oates (Book)
I’ve read several biographies about Lincoln but this one brought home the true difficulty of his job. It’s tempting to think our current political environment is the most challenging, complicated or partisan time we’ve seen. This book pulled back the curtain on how Lincoln led the U.S. through this difficult time and the toll it took on him.
Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone by J.K. Rowling (Book)
I know, I know, I may be the last person alive to read this book. I typically read non-fiction but wanted to mix things up. My oldest is a huge Harry Potter fan and reading this helped me speak her language. Overall I really enjoyed it and am working on book two.
Effortless: Make It Easier to Do What Matters Most by Greg McKeown (Book)
I’ve read McKeown’s Essentialism several times and while Effortless isn’t quite on that level it’s still a great book. Where Essentialism teaches how to prioritize, Effortless teaches how to make work easier. If you feel like your job (or life, or marriage, or anything else) is harder than it should be, give this one a read.
Observations
The Power of Listening
Over the last few years I’ve had the opportunity to coach leaders. During our sessions, we dig deep into challenges they’re facing. When I first started out, I often thought that I knew the answer to their problem. They’d be midway through describing their situation, but in my mind I was already crafting the perfect response. I knew the solution, or so I thought. But I quickly found out that breakthroughs rarely happened when the answers came from me. Advice is everywhere.
The real power in coaching comes from helping people find their own solution to a challenge. And that starts by listening. Not just hearing what’s being said but truly listening. Listening is one of the most special gifts we can give someone. I challenge you to be a better listener. Listen not with the intent to get your point across, but listen just to listen.
The Most Important Story You Will Ever Tell (Episode 14)
It’s been months (notice a theme?) since I’ve recorded a podcast, so let's flashback to the most listened to episode of the Not Your Parents’ Workplace Show.
Stories are incredibly powerful and have a significant impact on what we do and who we become. In this episode, I share why stories matter and how you can tell yourself stories that serve your purpose.
Gratitudes
I’ve found power in regularly expressing gratitude so I’ll continue the habit. I’m grateful to not be moving right now. We moved this time of year the last two years. In 2019 it was to Walnut Creek, and in 2020 we moved to St George. I’m grateful for the stability that comes from staying put.
If you've read anything worth sharing I'd love to hear about it. And do let me know if there's anything I can do to help you.
Nathan
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I may not always read every post you share, but I wanted to thank you for sharing your insights. Sharing what can help keep us stay motivated and focused. Keep them coming!