🎯 How to Lead During a Crisis, Fear Setting, and the Power of Not Being a Jerk to Yourself
PROGRESSION: November 2022
Greetings from St George, Utah where we’re still recovering from hosting Thanksgiving at our house. Lots to share this month so let’s dive right in.
Books, Articles, etc.
Lessons From Zoom: How to Lead During a Company Crisis by Derek Pando (Article)
2022 has been a difficult year for many, especially leaders of organizations going through rapid change.
My friend and former co-worker Derek Pando wrote a guest post for my blog sharing four insights he learned during a period of crisis at Zoom.
The second point really resonates. Regardless of the situation, there’s always room for empathy.
Discipline is Destiny by Ryan Holiday (Book)
I read a lot this past month but wanted to give Discipline is Destiny another shout out as it’s REALLY good and applicable to this audience. Here are two more insights from the book:
1) Temper your ambition
“Ambition is good, it just must be tempered. Like all elements of self-discipline, it’s about balance… We don’t need accomplishments to feel good or to be good enough. What do we need? Work that we can challenge ourselves with. A calm mind in the midst of adversity. Sleep. A solid routine. A cause we’re committed to. Something we’re getting better at.”
2) Do your best
“As long as a man is trying as hard as he can to do what he thinks to be right, he is a success, regardless of the outcome… Our best is always enough. But our best is a really high bar.”
The Benefits of Not Being a Jerk to Yourself by Dan Harris (TED talk)
This TED talk really resonated as I’ve noticed those who are ambitious (yep, that's me and you) are often really hard on themselves. It’s a wise, hilarious talk about how beating yourself up doesn't make you stronger—it leaves you bruised. Being kind to yourself isn’t about ignoring your weaknesses. It's about giving yourself permission to learn from your mistakes.
I recently shared his talk with my clients and wanted to pass along to you. Whether you watch it or not, I invite you to notice your inner critic and make an effort to counter-program it. Treat yourself with compassion. Treat yourself the way you would a good, trusted friend.
Observations
Leadership Development Tool: Fear Setting
The idea of fear-setting became popular in 2017 via a Ted Talk by Tim Ferriss. Sahil Bloom later wrote a deep dive on how to put it into practice.
The foundation of fear-setting is captured in a famous stoic quote:
“We suffer more in imagination than in reality.” — Seneca
The hard choices -- what we most fear doing, asking, saying -- are very often exactly what we need to do. How can we overcome self-paralysis and take action? Fear plays dangerous games with our minds. It distorts our ability to think clearly and rationally about a decision.
As I debated whether to make the jump to become a full-time coach, I sat down and completed this exercise. Doing so helped me realize that the worst case scenario was something I could handle. So I made the leap. And I’m so grateful I did.
Here’s Tim’s full TED talk: Why you should define your fears instead of your goals
How to Bounce Back After You Lose Your Job (and Feel Like the World's Ending)
A few weeks back I wrote a LinkedIn post that shared my experience getting laid off in 2009. The response was incredible. A clear reminder that 1) Many have recently lost their job or are concerned they might soon, and 2) Many are struggling and could use a kind word or a helping hand.
Here’s the full article I wrote for The Muse that shares four things you can do to bounce back even stronger after a lay off.
Gratitudes
I’ve found power in regularly expressing gratitude so I’ll continue the habit. As I’ve counted my blessings recently, so many things have come to mind. But I’m particularly grateful for CEOs and founders.
What a brutal year it’s been for them. Valuations slashed. Funding sources dried up. Recession looming. Uncertainty. Doubt.
I’ve learned that founders and CEOs are easy targets. We're quick to criticize them when things don’t go as expected. Back in 2016, shortly after I joined DoorDash, I wrote a post calling out Travis Kalanick for his poor leadership. Many had called him out. I was piling on. My manager wisely pulled me aside and invited me to take down the post. He told me I was in a leadership role and that’s not how real leaders act. Ouch.
He was exactly right. I look back on that moment with embarrassment. Who was I to take a shot at someone who’d spent years building something meaningful? What had I done relative to him? Absolutely nothing. I was just another keyboard warrior.
As I've grown in my career I've seen firsthand how hard that top job can be. Most of my clients are CEOs. They’re not the bad ones you read about online. They’re wonderful humans. They sacrifice. They stress. They struggle. They make hard decisions without having all the information. I admire them. I respect them.
So this one’s for the CEOs and founders. Those out there trying to make their company work knowing that everyone depends on them. Those finding product-market fit in the face of uncertainty. Those who’ve seen their company’s growth grind to a halt and are debating whether to stay the course, pivot, or shut things down entirely. I’m grateful for you, CEOs.
If you've read anything worth sharing I'd love to hear about it. And do let me know if there's anything I can do to help you.
Nathan
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