As 2023 comes to a close, I hope you’re able to celebrate your growth this year and enjoy time with loved ones. 🙏🙏
Last year, I created Reflections and Actions to formalize year-end introspection and 2024 goal setting. This was designed specifically for my clients but I’m confident you’ll find value in the five-step exercise.
I invite you to make a copy and complete Reflections and Actions for yourself! If you’d like to share your version or discuss more, please let me know. Wishing you the best during this season and the new year.
Books, Articles, etc.
The Best Books I Read in 2023
I (barely) hit my goal of reading 30 books this year. I first set that goal in 2014 and have hit it every year for a decade. While I love audiobooks, I’ve been trying to carve out time to quietly read. I find that doing so is more satisfying and improves learning. Regardless of your preferred format, I invite you to create time to read.
Here are the 10 best books I read in 2023 (listed in the order I read them).
Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It by Ethan Kross
The Tiger: A True Story of Vengeance and Survival by John Vaillant
The Creative Act: A Way of Being by Rick Rubin
Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness by Steve Magness
From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life by Arthur C. Brooks
Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott
Wanting: The Power of Mimetic Desire in Everyday Life by Luke Burgis
Outlive: The Science and Art of Longevity by Peter Attia
Elon Musk by Walter Isaacson
$100M Leads: How to Get Strangers To Want To Buy Your Stuff by Alex Hormozi
I also really enjoyed these four biographies of top performers:
Rafa by Rafael Nadal
Giannis: The Improbable Rise of an NBA MVP by Mirin Fader
Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey
Doc: The Life of Roy Halladay by Todd Zolecki
The Complete History and Strategy of DoorDash by Acquired (Podcast)
This year I’ve really gotten into two podcasts: Founders and Acquired. This episode of Acquired focuses on the history of DoorDash. It was recorded on the day of the IPO, which was just over three years ago (my birthday, oddly enough).
This episode is a deep dive into what made DoorDash successful by two expert podcasters. I think you’ll enjoy it.
Observations
Part Two: 40 Lessons I’ve Learned by Age 40 (Lessons 21-40)
Two weeks ago I celebrated my 40th birthday. In the weeks leading up to it, I reflected on my life and all that I’ve learned so far. I compiled 40 lessons I want to highlight. Below are several of the more personal ones. Here’s the full list of lessons 21-40. Click here if you missed lessons 1-20.
👩❤️👨 Marry well. I was 24 when I got married. We were both still in college. I had a full-time job lined up at Lehman Brothers, but almost no money. Young and in love, my wife and I moved to the Bay Area a few months after marrying. (Here’s a pic from around that time. Please don’t judge my beautiful hair and fashion choices 😬😬).
One month later, Lehman went under and I found myself unemployed for what felt like an eternity. At first I felt hope and optimism. But as time passed and the rejections piled up, that hope and optimism gradually faded.
One day I sat on the couch, unable to keep going. My wife came home from work and I was sitting in the exact spot as when she’d left. I’d spent the day paralyzed, wallowing in self pity. She looked me in the eyes and said, “So, is this it? Are you just going to give up?”
I felt a flash of anger, then humiliation. But she was right. Most of the time she’s kind and compassionate. But at that moment, she was direct. I needed her tough love. My wife has been there every step of the way, supporting me through all the twists and turns. I’ve tried to do the same for her.
🧒 Have kids early (if you can). Two years into our marriage, my wife invited me to dinner. It felt like more of a demand. I was an investment banker and she worked for a venture capital firm. We rarely saw each other during the week. I told her I was busy and asked if we could find another time. She said no. Over dinner, she told me she was pregnant. I was in shock. I was working 80+ hour weeks and could barely take care of myself. The thought of becoming a dad seemed overwhelming. The words of a Kenny Chesney song flashed through my mind: Hell, I’m just a kid myself. How am I gonna raise one?
Thankfully, it takes 9 months to make a baby. By the time our daughter was born, I was ready. She recently turned 13. We have four kids now. They mean the world to me. Each one opened a new chamber in my heart and made me better. Being a dad is one of the best things that could have happened to me. Too often we only hear about the pains and hassles of being a parent. But the joy of raising children far outweighs the challenges. I’m grateful we had kids early.
🤲 Serve, even when it’s inconvenient. One Sunday I took our two oldest to church while my wife stayed home with our newborn daughter. After the first hour, one of the leaders pulled me into a room. He asked if I would serve as a counselor to our bishop, a responsibility that would require a substantial commitment of time and energy.
With three young children and a busy job, I thought of several reasons why I should say no. However, I felt strongly that accepting the invitation to serve was the right thing to do. My wife felt slightly overwhelmed by the thought but was 100% supportive. Sundays were no longer a day to sleep in. I had church meetings that started at 6:30 AM and I didn’t get home until after lunch. Every Sunday morning, my wife got the kids ready and took them to church on her own.
Six months later I joined DoorDash. The job was far more demanding than my prior one and I now had a long commute to San Francisco. Once again, I questioned whether we’d be able to make it all work. I ended up serving in that church assignment for 3.5 years. The timing may have been inconvenient, but our lives were blessed in countless ways during that period. Serving helped me stay centered on the things that matter most.
Click here for the full list of lessons 21-40.
Gratitudes
I’ve found power in regularly expressing gratitude so I’ll continue the habit. I’m grateful for my wife and kids. I already shared why and this newsletter is running long so let’s wrap here. Hope you have a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
If you've read anything worth sharing I'd love to hear about it. And do let me know if there's anything I can do to help you.
Nathan
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