🕺 Steve Martin on Success, ⏰ Character Alarms, and Why You Need a Brain Tumor
🕺 Steve Martin on Success, ⏰ Character Alarms, and Why You Need a Brain Tumor
PROGRESSION: March 2023
I’ll start this month’s newsletter with a quote from economics historian Deirdre McCloskey:
“For reasons I have never understood, people like to hear that the world is going to hell.”
There’s a different option. Despite the chaos or confusion around us, we can choose calmness and clarity.
Books, Articles, etc.
Everybody Needs a Brain Tumor by David and John Koelliker (Book)
A friend of mine wrote this book with his father who was battling a brain tumor. This memoir captures all that he went through after being diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. Here are two key lessons I took from it.
Lesson 1: We choose our mindset regardless of our circumstances
David could have cursed God, complained about how unlucky he was, or just given up on life entirely. He took a different approach: “My happiness is rooted in things that I can always control: my character, my heart and my love towards other people.”
Despite the challenges he faced, David chose to make it a positive experience. He chose to serve more. He chose to love deeper. David’s life is a reminder that we can’t control what happens to us, but we can always control how we respond.
Lesson 2: Life is precious and can be taken from us or altered at anytime
In David’s words: “Through temporary difficulties, we can begin to understand what really matters in life. But as soon as we resolve the issue at hand, we reassume control and forget what we learned… Malignant brain tumors, on the other hand, permanently knock us out of control. We can’t ever go back to life before our diagnosis. This means that we have the opportunity to perpetually focus on what really matters in our life – on who we are and who we will become for the rest of our lives.”
David’s story was a beautiful reminder of what’s most important in life. It’s both heartbreaking and inspiring. As I read the final chapter on his life, I felt for those closest to him. They had lost a husband, a father, and a dear friend. Fighting tears, I hugged my kids a little tighter when they went off to school that day. I told my wife I loved her with a little more conviction.
Be So Good They Can’t Ignore You by Steve Martin (Quote)
Steve Martin’s answer to anyone who asks, how do you become successful?
“People always ask me, how do you make it in show business?
What I always tell them—I’ve said it for many years—and nobody ever takes note of it 'cause it's not the answer they wanted to hear. What they want to hear is, ‘here's how you get an agent, here's how you write a script, here's how you do this, here’s how you do that.’
But I always say, ‘be so good they can't ignore you.’ And I just think that if somebody's thinking, ‘how can I be really good?’—people are going to come to you. It's much easier doing it that way than going to cocktail parties.”
The Hot Hand: The Mystery and Science of Streaks by Ben Cohen (Book)
In this book, author Ben Cohen explores one of the most debated topics in sports: is there such a thing as the hot hand? Do athletes, particularly basketball players, experience a magical, endorphin-inducing moment when they can’t miss a shot? Or is it simply a case of seeing patterns in randomness?
The answer to that question is like your Facebook relationship status from 10 years ago—it’s complicated. I really enjoyed the book, particularly the evidence and studies behind where the hot hand shows up and the stories about Steph Curry and other NBA players. I did feel about 20% of the content could have been eliminated with no impact to the overall book. Overall very solid book.
Observations
Leadership Development Tool: Character Alarms
A challenge we all face is that what’s required to be successful at work is often different from what’s needed to be a loving spouse, parent, or friend. Real success in life requires us to show up fully in all aspects of our lives. But how do we do it? How do we make sure we’re successfully showing up in each area of our life? Enter Character Alarms.
My clients regularly tell me the Character Alarms framework is one of the most valuable exercises they’ve completed in our work together. I invite you to read about it and put it into practice.
Want People to Tell You the Truth More? Do These 4 Things.
A key part of my coaching work is creating a 360 feedback assessment for my clients. This consists of collecting feedback from co-workers then compiling a thorough report sharing everything, the good and the bad.
360 assessments are a way to hold a mirror up to clients. It gives them candid feedback on how they’re perceived by those who work closely with them. Clients are often surprised by what they hear. At the end of the 360, they inevitably tell me, often in frustration, that they wish their colleagues would be as candid with them as they were with me. They ask, why aren’t people telling me the truth?
To read the full article and learn four ways to get people to tell you the truth, click here.
Gratitudes
I’ve found power in regularly expressing gratitude so I’ll continue the habit. I’m grateful for detours. I drove to Las Vegas this weekend (no, not for the Taylor Swift concert) and traffic forced me to go a different route on the way there and the way back. Both routes led me to areas I hadn’t seen before. Both routes were beautiful. The drive was longer than expected, but I enjoyed the new scenery and extra time I had to think. Life occasionally throws us detours, moving us down unexpected paths. These detours provide us opportunities to learn things we wouldn’t otherwise.
If you've read anything worth sharing I'd love to hear about it. And do let me know if there's anything I can do to help you.